Ok, so I had a very interesting few days. Since my last posting, I was admitted to the hospital. I went really more then anything just to have someone to talk to, however, their idea of talking involves admitting you and keeping you in their prison of a hospital on the psych ward, until they say it is okay for you to go home. Ok I get that they are just trying to make sure you are safe and have a safe place to be. But honestly, there should be the ward for those who are depressed and a ward for those who are literally crazy! How is it I get to share a ward with people who talk to aliens and think they are part of the fifth element (whatever that is) and then the one or two of us who are just plain old depressed???... How is that possible exactly? However I do have to say the cocktail of whatever 3 medications they put in a lovely shot for me in the ER, definitely works! Not only does it calm you down, but it makes you incoherent for the next day and half too. I have to say that of all my visits to the hospital, this was definitely the worst of them all!
I am home now and trying to figure out the following: did I come home too soon because I am still obsessed with the same issues that plagued me before? or did I come home too soon because I just couldn't stand being in the mini jail they had me in? Hmmmmm..... I guess I will never know which it is... I just wish I could get the obsessive thoughts to go away.
So I guess at this point I am hoping that ECT will somehow work. Because if not, I just don't know what else to do!
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