Thursday, September 23, 2010

Trying to find relief

Ok, so I am trying to figure out, what is the best course of treatment for someone like me. You know the type, where 75% of the time is spend in a chronic, severe depressed state over anything and everything and the other 25% is just spent like what others' would call "normal".  So does this mean that it will never get any better to the point that I can experience those "highs" in life, I like to call joy or happiness? Well I hope not... I would love to know for one moment what it is like to spend 75% of my life in a "normal" everyday state and the other 25% in a joyous and happy state. So the question is: is this something that is possible.

I remember a story I had seen on TV once about 2 years ago. I was about the actress Carrie Fisher, you know, the girl from "The Exorcist". So anyway, I see her talking about something that at the time I thought was absolutely crazy and would be completely crazy. But then again, I am crazy so how far off could it be. So she begins to tell her story about her struggle with severe depression and bipolar. Here's where it gets good. She said that she didn't know what else to do when it came to treatment. So she decided to undergo ECT. ECT stands for Electro Convulsive Therapy.  I know, I know.. sounds crazy, right? Well, upon doing my own research regarding the subject, I found that actually it is probably one of the most helpful treatments for people with severe depression and bipolar.

I know it probably sounds a little crazy, yet I can't help but think, what if this is the answer. Yes it essentially creates a seizure, but what if it actually can finally make those parts of your brain that don't fire correctly, to do just that. What if it is possible to have these treatments, which are usually 3 times a week for 2 to 4 weeks and come out of it feeling better then ever. Are there drawbacks to this, of course. The biggest being, that you may or actually will lose your memory for about the previous 4 to 6 months. Now for most that may seem horrible, but I figure it this way, some of the things that have gone on to cause this depression and mania of mine to worsen have happened in the past 4 to 6 months. So would it really be so bad to be able to forget some of the worst times of my life..... I think not!

Of course I have to try and decide if this is exactly what I want to do, but right now, the odds are looking pretty good!

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