Tuesday, September 21, 2010


So how is it that we live in a world with people who can continuous lie and cheat and steal and they come out smelling like roses. So here's my issue, we are supposed to love family and honor them no matter what, yet when they hurt you we are supposed to use "radical acceptance" to forgive and be able to move on. But how does one move on when their thoughts run in a circle of obsession... it is like a never ending cycle.... it is what therapist like to call "Ruminating". Okay I get that, but what do you do to stop it, when the thoughts and feelings and urges to continue with these thoughts is so overwhelming? I don't know! I also want to add to my many diagnosis, one of my favorites.."OCD".. yes, another nasty word that describes some of us, maybe all of us to one degree or another... for anyone who doesn't know what that stands for, and I mean you who have been living under a rock, it is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder... So you have a thought come into your mind, then this tape begins to play, only it is one that is broken, and it plays the same thoughts over and over and over... It's kind of like a broken record where you get to this one part of a song and it skip and get stuck on that one note, until it drives you absolutely crazy!... Well we are talking about us crazies in the world....

So here is the problem, this obsession I feel, is over a family issue that no matter how hard I try and no matter what I do, it just doesn't go away. the thoughts still come, over and over and over again until I drive my spouse absolutely crazy.... I obsess to the point of where I can't focus on anything else except the questions I want to ask and the answers I want to know... but do you know how tiring that is? Exhausting!!!

So here we go again, another day, another obsessive thought, and now I am exhausted. I don't know how to get through this and would love to have any suggestions on figure out what to do next......

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